birthday cake blondies

Is it too soon to post about sprinkles again? I know it hasn’t been that long since I last waxed philosophic about the only sprinkle cookie I will ever need. And I did actually intend to share one of a few new non-sprinkle dessert recipes I’ve really been digging lately, but when I sat down to write this my instincts took over.

Despite my desire to give chocolate and hand pies and a whole host of other confections on my baking list their due in my sweets section before I turn up with another recipe that makes me look all same-ole-same, I love both sprinkles and birthday cake far, faaaar too much to set this one aside until the “right time.” And, really, when is not the right time to share a sprinkles recipe? Seriously! Besides, waiting any number of days to bring your attention to the magic of these birthday cake blondies would be rude anyhow, and rude people are the worst.

The truth is, I was a total blondie naysayer until I tasted this one - even halving this recipe to start for fear of what it would take to get rid of an entire pan if I didn’t like the way they turned out - with my reasoning being that I’d rather just have a brownie or a cookie. I stand firmly by that reasoning now, and would still choose a brownie over any other blondie in the world besides these. If forced to choose between my favorite brownie and these blondies, I would absolutely choose one of each, because I refuse to entertain the very notion that any friend of mine would ask me to choose between something I love and chocolate.

I certainly won’t be asking that of you, so if you feel the need to bake up a pan of brownies alongside these blonde beauties, then dude, you gotta do what you gotta do! But I’m here to tell you now that what you really gotta do is make these blondies. They are thin and chewy, sprinkle-speckled bars of goodness that transcend everything I have ever known a blondie to be about. They’re not dense or overly sweet in the least. And despite the low-key look of them, they are loud with the most perfectly buttery birthday cake flavor. The key to that flavor is powered milk, which is one of the two ingredients on the list that you might not already have on hand, and certainly the one you shouldn’t even attempt these without. (Everyone keeps a giant container of sprinkles around their house though, right? Ok, cool, thought so.) The other is clear vanilla extract, an essential ingredient here, but only if you’re concerned with the color of the blondie. Natural vanilla extract will work just fine, though it will most certainly darken the batter. The rest of the list is standard cookie makings, though, so don’t let those two put you off. Be good to yourself and whip up a pan of these ASAP. Happy sprinkling!

A couple of notes:

• Watch closely while baking and do not over bake. I baked these for the lowest recommended time, but I had been cooking all day and the oven was running a little hot, so my batch were ever so slightly overbaked. Next time I’m going to start checking at 18 mins. {I’m trying ~very~ hard to keep “next time” from actually just being “tomorrow.” We’ll see how long I can hold out.)
• The middle will rise while baking and sink when you take them out of the oven, giving these bars a high-rising, crunchy edge. It’s a good thing.
• Mel over at Mel’s Kitchen Cafe, who dreamed up these squares of happiness, calls them “Chewy Funfetti Blondies,” but after one bite I declared them “Birthday Cake Blondies” so that’s what I’m going with here. What I call them isn't crucial or anything, but I was feeling a little Melania Trump about it so I figured I’d mention.

Birthday Cake Blondies, adapted from Mel’s Kitchen Cafe
Yields one 8x8-inch pan of blondies, halved from the original

6 tablespoons butter, melted and cooled slightly
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup light brown sugar
1 large egg
1/2 tablespoon clear vanilla extract
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup dry milk powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/3 rainbow sprinkles

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease an 8x8-inch metal baking pan and set aside.

In a large bowl with a handheld mixer, or in the bowl of your stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, mix together the granulated and brown sugars with the melted butter. Add in the eggs and vanilla and beat lightly until creamy, about 2 or 3 minutes.

In another medium bowl whisk together the dry ingredients: flour, milk powder, baking soda, salt and sprinkles. Then add the dry ingredients to the egg and sugar mixture (along with one more shake of sprinkles, just because you can) and stir with a spatula just up to the point where all of the dry ingredients are fully incorporated and there are no dry streaks. Mixing with the electric mixer may break apart the sprinkles.

Dump the batter into the prepared pan and press it down into one even layer. Bake for 18-22 minutes, but start checking checking sooner if your oven runs hot.  Don’t overbake and don’t fear the rise and fall of the center (see notes above). Let cool completely in the pan before cutting into squares. These kept well overnight covered in a dishtowel, and I suspect they would for at least a couple more days but good luck keeping your hands off them because we certainly couldn’t.